Император Спок (emperor_spock) wrote in linguaphiles,
Император Спок

I have a bit of a creative task for our Mandarin-speaking members. I am writing an absurd comedy story and a 'this is my only line' character needs his only line, and I'd like it to be in Mandarin. So:

The Setting

A street butcher's shop is completely destroyed by a squad of flashily-dressed ninjas clutching onto the top of a muscle car. The car, in fact, does all the dirty work, ramming and smashing the place up. Some of the ducks the butcher had put out to sell got stuck to the ninjas' numerous swords, bayonets, spikes, chainsaws and spurs.

A close-up on the survived butcher, whose eyes reflect the blaze of his burning shop in the night and whose right nostril's got a piece of fuzzy pink cardboard sticking out: the McBum's Dukie cardboard is absolutely indispensable in your workshop, during picnics and on your toaster. Trust your McBum's — take a Dukie! Anyhow, he makes a spiteful squinting-Clint-Eastwood face manoeuvre, puts his hand into his apron pocket, pulls out a plywood remote control for the dynamite inside the ducks and proceeds to fill the block with ninja splatters by pressing the beige button.

The Task

What I want is to put a short phrase into the butcher's mouth right between the face-making and the button-pushing. It has to be a cliché action-movie punchline that fits this situation, something like:

"Who's the lame duck now?" *click* *bang* *splat* *thud*
"Duck that, buttbrainiac!"

It doesn't have to be about ducks, nor it has to have idiotic puns (the 'puns' part, not the 'idiotic'), but it should be short, stupid and straight to the point. You may inspire yourselves with 'hasta la vista, babies', 'are you feeling lucky, punks' and 'I'll be backs' and stuff.

Now, I am not asking you to translate anything (and urge you not to translate the crap I've given above), but it can be a hackneyed phrase overused by movie translators, or a modified idiom, or something that you've made up completely. It will not be essential for the story, but I really want to put this cute little easter egg into it (otherwise I'd let the bastard get squashed with the rest of his shop).

Also, don't worry about translatability of the phrase. It has to be really nice and pretty in Mandarin. I will write something completely different and unrelated in the story's language (which, as you have correctly deduced, is not English) and present it as your phrase's true and only translation (which constitutes some 70% of the egg) anyway.

I will need the text of the phrase in characters (you may add Pinyin if you want), its translation, and if it is idiomatic, or contains word play, or something else — an explanation as to what's what.

Thank you very much and congratulations: you may close this page now and forget this whole affair and silly me for the rest of your lives.

P.S. I am not a pro, so all I can do is to add you to the list of excuses to have a list of acknowledgements for when I maybe finish the story perhaps somehow.
P.P.S. If you know a better place to ask about this stuff — go ahead, I'll bugger off.
P.P.P.S. If you have a question, I will answer it to the best of my ignorance and stupidity.
P.P.P.P.S. Yes, the guy is from a China. I won't tell you which one, or where it all happens, for completely inane and arbitrary (well, in fact, backstabbing and manipulative) reasons.
Tags: chinese, humor, mandarin, writing

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