bibliophage79 (bibliophage79) wrote in linguaphiles,

translation help/correction

I'm editing a news article that was previously translated from Mandarin by someone whose English is not great. I'm having some trouble with the following sentence:

为了显示自己身份, 不会说漂亮话, 总说出内幕话, 把自己扮得很暴力.

The translation as given really made no sense at all (something about push out harshly, talk inside out, act like overlords) and I'm studying Chinese myself. Here's my version, slightly colloquial because it's intended for native speakers:

To show their high social status, they speak snobbishly, put on airs before outsiders, and behave ruthlessly.

Corrections or advice?

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