Fon (micholover) wrote in linguaphiles,
Fon
micholover
linguaphiles

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help in English biography

It’s my homework; I have to write biography of someone famous in English with my own word. The famous person I chose is Alex, I copied the biography from wikipedia, and made a timeline table and then I rewrite it with my word. I don’t know if I made some mistakes in it or not. I have to include, 10 activities he’s done and relative clauses. Can anyone here please correct it for me?



Alexandre Despatie was born on June 8, 1985 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. He began to dives first time at his own backyard pool. In 1998, he won gold medal on the 10 metre platform which included a score that no one have ever done - 10s. When he was only 13 years old, he was recorded in the Guinness Book of World Record by won the gold medal on the 10 metre platform with perfect score of 10s and the next year he won the silver medal at the World Championships in Fukuoka, Japan. The following year, he won the gold medal in the three-metre springboard event at the Commonwealth Games in Manchester, England. At the age of 18, he won a gold medal at the World Diving Championships in Barcelona, Spain in the 10 metre platform. The next year, he won the gold medal in the 3-metre and 10-metre of Winter Senior National Championships in Calgary, Canada and in 2005, he became World Champion in the 3 metre springboard with a world record score of 813.60. In 2006, he won 3 gold medals at the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne and the next year, he finished 8th and 10th event and won silver medals in the 3 metre event and the 3 metre synchronized with partner Arturo Miranda.

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*the word ‘no one have ever done’ I don’t know if I use the tense correct or not but I have to make it to my own word, I think the former word ‘unprecedented’ is the word that so far from my knowledge and my teacher will know that I copy from former biography (because I have to give her the former biography too).

Do you have any suggestion, do I have to add anything or cut or re-do something? I’ve been printing it 3 times, it cost my ink a lot and I won’t print it again unless I’m sure that it’s correct so I need your help. :)

Thanks in advance.
Tags: english
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