Ali (xicarus_complex) wrote in linguaphiles,
Ali
xicarus_complex
linguaphiles

French Question

Hello,

I'm Ali and I'm new to the community.  English is my first language and I've taken French for eight years through the Canadian public system, though I haven't achieved native fluency.  I wanted to ask if someone could please read over and correct a thank-you note I wrote for a my staff-advisor, Monsieur A, on behalf of the executive team.  It was his first year as supervisor and he opted not to supervise next year.  He contributed significantly to our success and, since he's a French teacher from Quebec, we thought it would be nice to write the message in French.  It's relatively short and I thank you in advance.

French Version

Cher Monsieur A,

Merci beaucoup pour votre patience, votre travail dur, et votre bonté.  Vous faites plus pour l'événement que nous pouvons exprimer dans cette lettre brève, mais, sans votre aide, le spectacle vraiment n'aurait pas été le même.  Il était un vrai plaisir à rencontrer et de travailler avec vous et nous sommes très reconnaissants.  Nous espérons à répéter la bonne expérience encore fois, même si vous ne reprisez pas la position de superviseur/gestionnaire de club l'année prochaine.   Merci  encore pour tous.

Nous vous prions d'agréer, Monsieur, l'expressions de nos sentiments distingués,

The Executive Team

English Version

Dear Mr. A,

Thank you very much for your patience, hard work, and kindness.  You did more for the event than we can express in this brief letter, but, without your help, the show really would not have been the same.  It was a real pleasure to meet and work with you and we're very grateful.  We hope to repeat the experience (is it necessary for me to add 'of working with you' and, if so, how should I word that?), even if you don't reprise your role as staff-advisor next year.  Thanks again for everything.

Sincerely,

The Executive Team


I wanted to ensure that my grammar and syntax were correct  and that it didn't sound too awkward.  I didn't know if I should translate staff-advisor as 'superviseur' or 'gestionnaire' (de club?) or is there another word?  I'm concerned about the salutation -- is that the most appropriate choice?  Is there, perhaps, a better option?  I've included an English version to show what I wanted to say.  I appreciate all feedback.

Cross posted to correct_french.
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