Hi everyone. Here are my translations of two cool songs inspired by Hua Mulan that someone asked for about a week ago. The first song is written in a classical style of Chinese I'm not wholly comfortable with and I'd really love it if another set of eyes can check my interpretation. The second one is modern but I'm having trouble with the phrasing. Again, I'd appreciate it very much if it can be checked too.
( Song #1, Chinese lyricsCollapse )
( Song #1, translated lyricsCollapse )
( Song #2 - Chinese lyricsCollapse )
( Song #2 - translated lyricsCollapse )
Notes for song #1:
- I'm pretty sure only the first verse of the first song is from the Ballad of Mulan. The rest is original.
- As with most classical Chinese texts, tenses are implied, relationships between certain terms are inferred, and punctionation is non-existant. Therefore, almost all tenses, pronouns and punction (among other things) are not original. This is why I'd like someone to check it.
New notes and comments for song #2:
(*A) The original text says mulan hua, which means magnolia flowers. It is common to give girls names of flowers and Mulan's family name happen to be Hua, which means flower, so Hua Mulan = Mulan the person and mulan hua = magnolia flower.
(*B) I'm not sure which interpretation is better.
(*C) Landscape painting is the highest form of Chinese painting. It is one of the four arts every learned scholar must know.
(*D) Hearty is the closest word I can think of but it's still not it. It suggests drinking in big gulps merrily. It is not a very feminine behaviour but still refined, so something like "merrily gulps down tea" is too crass.
- I mulled over this with a friend today. Even with his suggestions and sylphlight's comment, some parts still don't sound right in English. Again, feedback is much appreciated.